Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘being single’

I have witnessed my sisters and sister-in-law’s divorces and what transpired. Needless to say, they weren’t pretty. Now I am watching my brother-in-law being tortured as he plods through a messy divorce involving his crazed wife and four children.

I have many friends that have had to make the decision to dissolve their marriages and it’s never an easy choice. But, for those of you who are considering such a move, here is some sage advice. Why not simply stick it out to the bitter end and see what results? For those still confused, I’ve created a list of signs and symptoms to recognize. Let them serve as guideposts up ahead along the arduous pathway of marriage and its consequences.

Therefore, if you encounter any of the following, you are probably not alone. Here are the obvious reasons to stay in a bad marriage.

  1. You have a child or children and don’t want them to lose the spouse’s presence and interaction, regardless of the grief they inflict upon them.
  2. You enjoy being controlled by the spouse, as they tend to dictate just about everything that happens in the household and in your life.
  3. You thrive on being mentally abused as your spouse demeans you and explains how lousy you are at: sex, earning a living, being a father, mother, etc.
  4. You are thrilled at the prospect of being slapped, beaten, and otherwise physically abused and in some cases, even have the scars to prove it.
  5. You don’t mind that you can no longer trust your spouse regarding anything they do or say.
  6. You have already decided that marriage is all about having wonderful things like a nice house and so it’s all about displaying the appearance of happiness rather than having actual real joy and fulfillment.
  7. You are a true martyr and stay married knowing you will be hurt on many different levels.
  8. You hate the idea of being single or alone again and figure that nobody else on the planet would ever want to be with someone like you. In other words, no self-esteem.
  9. You have ignored all the well-meaning advice of friends and relatives, knowing that they are probably wrong and couldn’t possibly understand what you are going through. So you will continue on to spite them and prove them wrong.
  10. You hate yourself enough to stay on your present course of self-destruction because marriage is sacred and it’s just safer this way than to consider any alternative solution.

There you have it. The bottom line is that it’s much easier to do nothing at all than to go to the trouble of hiring an attorney, filing papers, moving out and finding another place, and facing all the hassle that ensues. So the happy solution is to just ignore the constant agony of the terrible marriage and pretend it isn’t really all that bad. Denial is a wonderful thing. It can overcome a plethora of small and larger obstacles including everything I just listed. Overlooking all the problems is the least objectionable way of coping and doesn’t shake-up your little world. Of course, you might be subjecting your children to a life of pain and suffering at the hands of the abusive spouse. But, hey, what the heck? You’re still in a marriage and maybe you can try to trick your friends and relatives into believing it’s a good one, even if it isn’t.

Finally, staying in a pathetic marriage has other benefits you probably haven’t considered. There’s the lower taxes, joint ownership of property, sharing hotel room costs, wearing shiny gold wedding bands, and sharing that cool last name. Who would ever want to give up all that neat stuff, just to dump a loser spouse and make a fresh start? I think by now I’ve made my point, Please forward this article to anyone you know who would benefit from my guidance and remember that “all marriages rock”! Or is that, “beware of rocky marriages?” And that’s ultimately for you to decide.

Reference: Jeffrey Hauser

Advertisements

Read Full Post »